Research Paper on Perseverance
Research
Paper on Perseverance
I was thinking a lot about what perseverance means to me, is it good or bad to be perseverant and whether there are universal cases or situations when he person should be perseverant. I have always considered myself far from being perseverant. When I face particular situations I’m always in doubt how to behave, but what I am really proud of, is when the choice is already made, I am going straight to reaching the goal and show as much perseverance as the situation demands.
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In the relationships it is always difficult to decide. It doesn’t matter whether the person is male or female, the decision-making process of both sides is equally important in the relationships. When I met the person I really liked, and when the constant euphoria from seeing each other a little it died away, I began asking myself about the future. Even though I am confident in myself, I was wondering whether my expectations about our mutual future coincide with those of my partner. It was the knowledge that I lacked very much and was afraid to ask openly. Several times I started the conversation about at least spending vacations together or starting living together, my sweetheart was turning the conversation to other things. I was very nervous, as I started to question myself whether the feelings that I experience are real and what is even more important- whether they are mutual. We were spending a lot of time together, walking and having fun, but that uncertainty was destroying me from inside. I was trying not to be very perseverant not to frighten my partner, but in the same time I lost my inner comfort. Once I came across the essay of Derek Harfit where he was expressing his ideas regarding people and people that have questions. The point was I doesn’t matter if the person is uncertain or has question about the future, and whether s/he obtains the positive or negative response- it doesn’t matter at all, as the only thing that matters- is his/her real desire. Having questions are unnatural to be the human-beings, as they should always have the answer that comes from inside. The life is not continual, but composed of moments and the each new moment in life should be conscious. And once I made the decision to date that person, I should throw away all doubts and questions and just do how I feel. And after reading that essay, I decided just to ask, I was not sure that I will hear what I expected, but it was the thing I needed to know. My partner responded that it was rather natural to live together and asked when I would like to move. I was very happy, as I understood that I should never be afraid to do and to say what I want, even when I receive the answer that will not match my expectations, I will still now that I am following my own chosen way and I am, and nobody else, responsible for my life.
In doesn’t mean that practicing perseverance is my life credo. The situations in life are not all “white and black” and we do not live in the two-dimensional world. In some cases perseverance can be even ridiculous.
Few months ago my family was visiting our friends in Switzerland. They are an old couple- Margaret and Christian- with already grown up children. Of course we brought some presents to them- the tablecloth with hand-made fancy work and the selection of the exclusive teacups for their collection. While my parents were discussing business with Christian, I and Margaret decided to go shopping, as I wanted to buy some special wine and candies for my friends and I just love Swiss chocolate. I have taken many boxes with cheese, chocolate and few bottles of wine and Margaret just taken some food to cook in the evening. When we were about to pay for all our stuff, I said that I would like to pay for all my food by myself. Margaret in her turn said, that there will no problem for her to pay and that it will be her present to our family. I was very embarrassed, as my parents always taught me that I should pay for my things by myself. I started to say to Margaret that it is not necessary and I better pay with my card, and the whole line was listening to our conversation with widely open ears. When Margaret noticed that, she suggested that she will pay in two separate checks and at home I will return her my part in cash. I agreed for this kind of compromise, still thinking how I will tell my parents that I allowed paying for myself. When we went out of the supermarket, Margaret told me one thing: “Being independent it very good and deserves respect, but what deserves even more respect is ability to accept with open heart.” And then she tore my check and threw it away. I was literally shocked. Then he cheered me up that even though the situation in the supermarket was embarrassing to her as well, it is good that I am such independent and self-sufficient in my thoughts and deeds. I very grateful to Margaret that she showed me another side of blind perseverance, which is not stipulated by inner beliefs, but by fear before parents and the behavior they are expecting from you. Finally I said to Margaret: “Thank you very much, I greatly appreciate what you did and thank you for my favorite chocolate!” Of course, the matter was not in chocolate or money, but in the people relationship, when one person is ale to give something with open heart, without expecting anything in return, and the other is just accepting, without feeling obliged.
I like perseverant and confident people, as they inspire me in the greatest extent. But I’m not blindly following them, but trying to evaluate their behavior and still do what I consider to be the most appropriate in the situation. I am not afraid to be ridiculous or wrong, I just want to be myself.
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